It wasn't a particularly special evening. Sanzo ended up paying a visit while Yue and Chuntao were out of town on business. Besides, who could deny a Sanzo's request for a cup of herb tea? She had no problem letting him into her home while alone, despite hardly having seen him the past few months. She also had no qualms against him staying the night and subsequently, sharing her bed.
It was a muggy, summer evening - the humidity from the morning rain lingered throughout the house. As Daiyu opened her window to attempt to let in any fleeting night breeze, she heard the flutter of robes hitting the floor. It didn't even surprise her that Sanzo would strip down naked; by this age and stage of whatever relationship they had, nudity was a means to an end. It'd been so long since they had both seen one another without clothing. Suddenly she felt a bit too aware of the fact that she was in her bedroom with someone else for the first time in quite a while.
It wasn't that she was ashamed but it was strange watching one's own body change over time. She looked over her shoulder to see Sanzo already sitting on the bed, facing the opposite side of the room with the thin blanket draped over his thighs. Her eyes scanned the dull, pink, faded scars that dusted the expanse of his back and the touches of greying, blond hair falling across the nape of his neck. He seemed a bit less agitated now that he was out of his thick robes and the breeze hit his bare skin. Seeing him relax slightly eased her anxieties.
With a delicacy she gained over the years as a mother, Daiyu began removing her clothing, each removed article bringing her relief from the heat. When she was completely naked, she let out a puff of breath she didn't even know she'd been holding and slowly turned toward the bed. During her turn, she cursed for having caught sight of herself in her mirror. It was always so strange being forced to look at her body.
The years hadn't been cruel - she suspected her demonic heritage had something to do with that. It was the fact that it looked so different than what she was used to all those years ago while on the journey west. Where there was once hard, flat muscle was now a smooth stomach with light marks of distress from two pregnancies. What were once firm, angular limbs were now slightly curved and soft. She never saw it as ‘letting herself go’ – her interests and time eventually ended up devoted to tai-chi – a much less physically demanding form of martial arts. It kept her healthy but pregnancy and lack of daily, rigorous training rituals took their toll.
Once she was completely facing the opposite direction, Daiyu felt her shoulders tense when she realized that Sanzo had been watching the entire time. Even after all this time, there was this annoying wish buried deep in the back of her mind to know what he was thinking whenever they bared themselves to one another. And damn it if she couldn’t help but shrink away whenever her eyes met with his. Despite the tired wrinkles around them, they remained the same, intense amethyst-colored orbs.
He continued watching her; if he was disappointed or disgusted in what he saw, she wouldn’t know. After a moment more of staring, he finally looked away. Daiyu felt more relief wash over her, muscles relaxing. No matter how much it hurt in the past, realizing he would never physically react to her, now, it was one of the things in life that brought her reassurance. She was so glad that in their current age, he hadn’t shown signs of his initial behavior changing. With that thought, Daiyu smiled and slowly made her way over to the bed, opting to give him full use of the thin blanket and settled herself against the headboard.
She closed her eyes, relishing in any small, cool breeze that fluttered in through the window. Feeling the bed shifting next to her, she knew Sanzo was settling himself down for sleep as well. What she didn’t expect was to feel Sanzo’s head rest upon her thigh, using it as some sort of pillow. She opened her eyes and stared down at him confusedly. It wasn’t like him at all to want to break their unspoken understanding of personal space…but what did she know? It’d been a while since she saw him last. Instead of growing angry and therefore even hotter, Daiyu settled for the slight flustered feeling that resonated within her. Hoping that it wouldn’t make him flinch, she placed her hand on his head, her fingers weaving themselves into his faded blond locks. Sanzo gave no sign of irritation, instead chose to continue looking out the window, body rising and falling slowly with his steady breathing.
Daiyu leaned her head back once again and let her eyes drift shut, fingers absentmindedly running through his hair. His passiveness was certainly strange of the monk but she wouldn’t complain.
“You’ve gained weight.”
His voice disturbed the peace she thought fell between them and her muscles clenched up, an embarrassed heat rising to her cheeks to darken their color. Sanzo hadn’t even moved an inch when he so calmly stated his observation. How could such an apathetic man make her feel so flustered? It wasn’t fair.
“…” Just what was she supposed to say in response? It wasn’t like he was wrong. She had gained weight over the years but she personally never thought it was an unhealthy amount. Sure there was some ‘more’ of her in certain areas but she looked just like any other average woman these days, in her opinion.
Get off of me and get the hell out of my house
Fuck you
Well, sorry that I’ve gained weight
Look who’s talking
“Yeah,” was all that Daiyu ended up responding after various possible replies sped through her mind. Even she wanted to smack herself at how pathetic that sounded. Again, Sanzo gave no sign as to what he thought of her response and it drove her insane.
“Is that…bad?”
She bit her lower lip – even that question sounded lame to her. After what seemed to be an eternity of awkward silence to Daiyu, Sanzo gave a small hum and nestled his face further into her thigh. He surprised her even further by wrapping his free arm under her knee, as if to keep her in place and then brought one leg up to settle against one of hers, his ankle locking with her own. They were a mess of limbs and it appeared Sanzo wanted to remain that way the rest of the night since he was asleep within the next few minutes.
This only left Daiyu even more confused. Why would the creature before her, patron of all irritation, choose to willingly huddle so close? Why would he sacrifice all his potential comfort for a position that would only generate more heat? It was all so disconcerting and she found herself staring at Sanzo, as if his slumbering form would provide her the answers she was seeking. Not to mention this unwarranted closeness between them still left her feeling quite perplexed…it was strange…but she wouldn’t lie and say she didn’t enjoy it.
It had been a long time since she last saw him, she mused while continuing her staring. Physical distance was always so important to Sanzo; she’d grown accustomed to the idea that times like these would never happen.
And as she held the human in her arms, she realized how badly she missed him – how lonely those months had been for her. It hit her like a cold splash of water to her face and her arms gripped him tighter in response. Any confusion left over from their physical closeness at that moment quickly disappeared and was completely replaced with delight for having him with her.
Daiyu hunched over, her long hair curtaining around them both as she placed her lips against his temple. And she remained there, simply content with the intimacy. In that moment, a somewhat taboo phrase slipped from her lips.
“Wǒ ài nǐ,” she mouthed against his skin, voice hardly above a whisper.
He’s asleep, she thought to herself, closing her eyes. He’ll never even know.
She wasn’t sure what to think when she felt his response in the form of the arm around her thigh giving her a slow, but affirmative squeeze.