Security: We need to do some additional screening. Sorry, sir. Please come this way. [What? Did I . . . Did you find something?] Relax sir. Okay? I'm going to open your carry-on bag. As I'm going through it, please do not try to touch it. [Okay.] Let's see now. Hmmm. First of all, sir, you can't take any liquids like this bottled water past this point.
Passenger: Ah. Well, I really can't drink any other kind of water. Sierra Springs is the only bottled water I drink.
Security: Sorry sir. [Ah . . . ] And, sir. What's this? [What?] No, sir, you cannot bring a lighter on the plane.